JessAbroad

Every first Friday of the month, the Groningen Couchsurfing (CS) community meets in town for drinks and conversation. I love things like this. My linguistics program keeps me busy and it's difficult to meet new people in a new city outside of my program and apartment building. Couchsurfing meetings are how I met most of my friends in Utrecht, and I think they're equally as affective in meeting people here.

So last Friday I welcomed my couchsurfer Svenja, a sweet girl from Germany, who is au pairing in the Netherlands. As I recently wrapped up my au pairship and she is just beginning, we had a lot of stories to exchange. After dinner, we went to the Groningen CS meeting where we met a lot of nice people. In some cases, I remet people from September's meeting, the last monthly meeting I attended. My favorite part about Couchsurfing meetings is it gathers people from different countries and diverse backgrounds who have two things in common: passions for travel and foreign cultures.

About midway through the evening, a Dutch guy (let's call him Stom, stupid in Dutch) came to my side of the table. We exchanged introductions, and when Stom found out I was from the States, he responded with, “your country sucks.”

Stom proceeded to sit right next to me in an attempt to carry on a conversation. I sat in shock as I do not usually get harsh responses from Couchsurfers. He kept asking questions, and I responded with one word answers where possible, displaying my lack of interest in his presence. He gave me a look when he finally realized this, and I responded with, “how do you expect me to have a pleasant conversation with you when you greet me by bashing my country?”

Stom went on to defend himself, insisting California is a cool place to be from and is not covered under his definition of the US. Clearly Stom did not take US geography, but as he's from the Netherlands and North American geography was likely not part of his educational curriculum, I chose to enlighten him with the fact that California is part of the United States, and when he says my country “sucks,” that includes California. I also mentioned his greeting is not perceived as appropriate discourse in westernized countries.

The dispute ended, and silence lingered. This stubborn Stom guy refused to leave the table. Eventually one of my new German acquaintances, Kaja, insisted he “try” the other side of the table. What a pleasant way to paraphrase “get the fuck out of here.”

I say with great sorrow that I'm getting used to people telling me about how much they think the United States “sucks.” These individuals usually feel the way they do for political reasons, and then they often group Americans into Bush loving, McDonald's eating idiots. I find myself defending my country constantly when I just want to have a nice conversation, and I'm less desiring of political conversations for this reason. But instead of feeling ashamed for some of the less than pleasant things the United States is responsible for, I'm embracing qualities I didn't notice prior to my January 2008 departure, and I'm more patriotic than ever.


After growing up in the United States, living in France, Madagascar, Italy and the Netherlands and traveling extensively, I realize each place is different with its own pros and cons. No one country is better than another, and I include war torn nations in this statement. I find it unfair and unrealistic to think all citizens from a particular country love their government and behave in a certain manner. People have the right to be an individual, so when meeting new people look at that rather than casting them into the pool of their home country stereotypes.